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Granite Falls Advocate Tribune - Granite Falls, MN
Tracy Beckerman is Lost in Suburbia and trying to hold onto just a little bit of her former, COOL, pre-mom self!
T’was a Week Before Christmas
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About this blog
Nationally syndicated columnist and author Tracy Beckerman is \x34Lost in Suburbia\x34 ­ managing the chaos with a healthy dose of humor. Her next book, a \x34momoir,\x34 will be published in spring 2013. She contributes to many online mom sites, ...
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Family Humor
Nationally syndicated columnist and author Tracy Beckerman is \x34Lost in Suburbia\x34 ­ managing the chaos with a healthy dose of humor. Her next book, a \x34momoir,\x34 will be published in spring 2013. She contributes to many online mom sites, including www.todaysmama.com, www.rolemommy.com and www.newjerseymomsblog.com and is an official blogger for Lifetime Television's hit show, \x34The Balancing Act.\x34 She also does stand-up comedy and has appeared at venues including The Comic Strip Live in NYC and The Erma Bombeck Workshop in Dayton, Ohio. Before she became a columnist, Beckerman was a writer and producer in the television industry for 10 years, managing the advertising & promotion department at WCBS-TV New York. Tracy is married to a very understanding guy. They have two children and live in New Jersey where she writes, does battle with woodchucks and avoids, at all costs, driving a minivan.
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By lostinsuburbiablog
Dec. 18, 2012 5:15 p.m.



santa



’Twas a week before Christmas and we all were still shopping



Brookstone was packed and the Mac store was hopping



A sale at the Gap and at Lucky Brand beckoned.



There was 50 cents left in my wallet, I reckoned.

But the stocking was stuffed and the tips had been tipped.



The gift to Aunt Millie had finally been shipped.



The cards had gone out and we’d hung up the wreath,



So my husband and I breathed a sigh of relief.

The children were safely all tucked in their beds



as visions of Christmas gifts danced in their heads.



More Barbies, more Furbies, more Transformers too.



Dreaming of Angry Birds, Elmo and Pooh.

Then from way up above there arose such a clatter.



My husband ran up to see what was the matter.



Someone was walking up there on the house.



And that someone was bigger for sure than a mouse.

A burglar? A reindeer? What could it be?



Something was headed straight for our chimney.

And then with an “oomf” and an “ugh” he came down,



Not through the chimney but down to the ground.



With big rosy cheeks and good cheer galore



Our mystery roof-walker appeared at the door.

“I’m the guy that you called, I’m a roofer named Kringle.



That Hurricane Sandy? She ruined your shingles.



“You need a new roof,” said the man dressed in red.



“If you don’t do it soon it’ll fall in on your head.”

We looked at the children asleep in their beds,



At the pile of bills, and then scratched our heads.



Then we gave him a Visa to clean up the mess



Because Kringle won’t take American Express.

©2012, Beckerman. All rights reserved.



FINAL Book Cover copyMy new book, “Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir. How I Got Pregnant. Lost Myself, and Got My Cool Back in the New Jersey Suburbs” is now available for PRE-ORDER! Yes, I know it won’t be out for 4 months, but think of how excited you’ll be in anticipation of receiving your copy the moment it comes out!” To pre-order yours, CLICK HERE>

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