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Granite Falls Advocate Tribune
Mayan Apocalypse? Oh My!
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By steve
Dec. 21, 2012 11:16 a.m.



There have been a lot of questions about where this Mayan apocalypse thing comes from. According to recent research conducted by Mayan scholar Perry Mede, the current legend actually stems from a combination of two Mayan legends.



Although fearless in battle, the Mayans had a deep fear of being kissed by an Alpaca. This is not an unreasonable fear, at least according to those who have been kissed by an Alpaca. Mayans worried a great deal about the “Alpaca lips.”



The other big fear held by the Mayans was that their lips would get stuck together. This rare condition was known amongst Mayans as the “Epoxy lips.”



These fears came together into the Mayan legend of the end of time as being kissed by an Alpaca whose lips got stuck to you: sort of a “alpaca-poxy-lips.” Evidence of this is found in the last words of the chief of the Mayans, Mayan Bissa-son, who said, “Mmmph, mmph, mmmpphhh!” Historians believe this to mean, “Get this **** alpaca off me!”

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