I would like to reflect on the Ole and Lena Days of past and how history tries to repeat itself.
I am honored to be a member of the only smoosh racing team to win multiple championships. If you remember, it was in the 1990s when the competition was young and rugged and all the “Lenas” of the day were eager to be courted by a champion. We fulfilled our mission with desire, drive and a keen understanding of the art of smooshing.
Just lately, there was an athlete who went outside the rules to gain the title of champion. He used unnatural means to win. A cyclist, if you recall. There were rumors and allegations and then a confession.
Well, there have been rumors that we, the Bonco Boys Smoosh Racing Team, the only team to win 4 championships (consecutively I might add) and retired as champions, were using performance enhancing drugs. It’s not clear who but it looks like the Norwegian and German judges and maybe the team from further up the river have been standing in the shadows.
To protect our four trophies and our priceless set of skis, we are forced to seek legal counsel to defend ourselves. And it has become very clear that these rumors are unfounded and no performance enhancing drugs were used during our reign nor to this day because it has never been determined that lutefisk and pickled herring are performance enhancing drugs…but don’t tell Lena.
Uff-da, that sure took a lotta words. Pass the fisk.
(For the rest of the team: DD, RF, AV and MH.)