As I crossed Nebraska today, I decided to give Aunt Olive a call. I was really calling to see if she could hear her phone, as she lost her hearing aid again last week. She could, and she answered, but the conversation was a little tough.
"I am in Nebraska!" I said.
"You're in the bathtub?"
"No, I am in NEBRASKA!"
"In a box?"
"Oh! For heaven's sake. What are you doing in a bathtub in Nebraska?"
The hearing aid showed up in the laundry. In pieces.
In other news, the lesbians in the dining hall are staring at her again.
"Why can't they just give up?" she said, exasperated.
Aunt Olla is pro-gay marriage, but very much against staring lesbians.