Opinion

My son, who is currently stationed overseas, seems to have acclimated so much to his environment, he has a hard time with remembering what time of day it is in the United States. And so phone calls happen very early in the morning. Most often moments after I actually wake up.

An Exchange with the Easter Bunny Early one morning, Rob and the Easter Bunny met in a sunny, dewpearled meadow. The rabbit had a basket of Easter eggs at his side.

As we’ve been working our way through the transition to new systems, and a new layout, we’ve definitely had some learning by experience moments. We’ve been working out all of the kinks, and brainstorming for the future with the capabilities we now have.

Man vs Golf You know how sometimes you go to visit your parents but you don’t want to stay with them because, you know, they’re your parents? So you decide to stay nearby, but not that nearby because, well, they’re your parents? But it’s also spring break for the kiddos so you dish out a little more scratch than usual and stay not just at a hotel but a resort with a full-on water park, with lots of pools and water slides galore? And you know how the first few days are good, clean family fun, swimming during the days, seeing the folks in the evening but then you learn that the resort offers something else and that something else is… golf? And you know how halfway through your stay, the PGA walks in like they own the joint? I hate it when that happens. One minute, parking is first come first serve, the next it’s: Are you with the Open? Oh, you’re not with the Open.

As April 1st draws near, one of my favorite holidays on the horizon, I can’t help but think about my grandfather. You see, if any of you ever traveled to Hanley Falls and visited any of his businesses - Stölen Foods, Stölen Guns, Stölen Antiques, Stölen Construction and whatever other businesses he had going on over the years that I may have forgotten about, then you may have found yourself the victim of a prank. Certainly, none of the ladies that gathered in the mornings for coffee in the “cafe” side of Stölen Foods was safe from his antics.

This column takes pride in bringing to light the truest truth. Saint Patrick was no saint.

Frazzled, ROB rushes into the coffee shop, immediately recognizes FATHER TIME on the opposite side of the café, sitting in a booth. Rob crosses to him quickly and sits.

My sister and I have a joke about how every time I travel, I have encounters with birds. Each of my digital travel albums includes a video in which some bird - usually a very large bird - is following me, (in quite close proximity) while I engage said bird in conversation. In Salem it was a seagull, at Imperial Beach it was a seagull, in Colorado it was a raven, in New York City it was my nosy hotel pigeon, and so on. Because of all of my previous encounters, I assumed that large birds were just friendly beings who like to hang out nearby and hope for snack scraps, like tiny dogs with wings. That is, until last week, when I had to do some work on a third-story balcony belonging to one of the apartments above my boutique.