Is it really just June 11? Neither party has even held their convention yet, and the candidates are already thrilling us with their wisdom.


 

 

Is it really just June 11?

Neither party has even held their convention yet, and the candidates are already thrilling us with their wisdom.

Republican John McCain has discovered the Internet.

Give him a break. When he was in school, text messages were delivered by Western Union (stop).

There were only three faces on Mount Rushmore.

But now he is hip. No, he didn't break a hip. He is hip.

In a move to connect with the younger voters, McCain announced that he would be using the Internet to help him find a running mate.

"We're going through a process where you get a whole bunch of names, and well, basically, it's a Google," McCain said at a fundraising stop in Virginia. "You just, you know, what you can find out now on the Internet. It's remarkable, you know."

It is remarkable.

For Obama, it's safety first.              

Barack Obama has a lot to worry about.

The color of his skin offends some voters.

The cost of his idealistic programs offends many more.

When he bumps fists with his wife after securing the Democratic nomination, Fox News calls it a "terrorist jab."

But he has one area of his life under control -- he won't get a bump on his noggin.

Seriously, Teddy Roosevelt rolled over in his grave when he saw a potential commander in chief wearing a bicycle helmet on a leisurely bike ride around Lake Michigan with his family. It isn't like he was in a Tour de France sprint. He was just pedaling around the lake.

Was a helmet really necessary? This was his most emasculating moment since the bowling fiasco.

When he isn't firing up thousands of people with a silver-tongued speech, Obama needs to stick to the basketball court where he can impress would-be voters.

And he better not wear some 1970s terry cloth headband either.

Barr is the real conservative, right?           

So Bob Barr is running as a Libertarian, but he is expected to steal all of the "real conservatives" from McCain.

I think that is about as likely as Ralph Nader stealing all the "real liberals" from Obama.

When it comes to Iran, he sounds a lot more like Obama than McCain.

"The tragedy in Iraq demonstrates the counterproductive consequences of initiating war without any compelling justification," Barr said, expounding on his plan to end the war in Iraq.

He said of Iran, "Any nonproliferation strategy must begin with diplomacy and include a willingness to address the other side."

The right-wing pundits and politicians had a field day when Obama claimed to want to negotiate with enemies of America.

Now the ultra-conservative Barr wants to negotiate with Iran?

He does, indeed. But he assures his fellow conservatives that his way is better.

He said McCain will merely continue the failed policies of George W. Bush. Obama will negotiate, but Barr said "he is a weather vane, pushed around by the lightest political breezes."

He may not get much support, but his willingness to take on both parties at once will at least make Barr an interesting part of the race.

Augusta Gazette